Who Gets Mad And Who Feels Bad? Using Mate Value Discrepancies To Predict Anger And Shame In Relationships

Event Center BC

The goal of the present study was to investigate how anger and shame function to motivate cognition and behavior in response to transgressions within a romantic relationship. We were specifically interested in how mate value discrepancies in a romantic relationship would relate to anger and shame exhibited by both the victim and perpetrator of a transgression. We predicted that mate value discrepancies (higher discrepancy values indicated the participant’s mate was higher in mate value) would be positively associated with shame when a person is either a perpetrator or victim of a relational transgression and negatively associated with anger when a person is the victim of a relational transgression. We predicted no relationship between mate value discrepancies and anger when a person is the perpetrator of a relational transgression. Three hundred participants currently in romantic relationships provided ratings of themselves, their mate, and their ideal mate, which we used to calculate mate value discrepancies. Participants were randomly assigned to a “perpetrator” or “victim” condition. They read four scenarios as the perpetrator or a victim of a relational transgression and rated the degree of shame and anger they would feel in each situation. Results expand our understanding of the function of emotions and relationship dynamics.