Date of Award

5-2023

Document Type

Project

Degree Name

Master of Fine Arts in Studio Art

Department

Art

First Reader/Committee Chair

Ragguette, Alison

Abstract

Ever since I was a kid, I have had this fear that still lingers today: the fear of being an adult. It’s my ongoing fear.

I look back to my childhood. I find comfort. I was happy and stress-free. In my childhood, I was unrestrained and enjoyed my innocence. It was my “happier times”. I did not have the worries of responsibilities and burdens. That mindset changed when I realized my father had two full time jobs. I stopped acting my age and became more independent. I didn't want to trouble my parents with school or personal issues. Now I am heading towards "adulthood"; I have duties to fulfill. Plus dealing with puberty at age 10, I was conscious about my appearance. Consuming media, such as Teen Vogue magazines, young adult films, celebrities, etc. about beauty and sexuality has affected my self-image. I integrated these topics in my artwork as a way of self-reflection.

Art is an outlet for me because I can express my feelings and thoughts freely without holding it in to myself. I want to capture that fear of adulthood and childhood nostalgia. I use vibrant and pastel colors that reference childlike characteristics. I incorporate collage elements to my work referring to arts and crafts I have done as a kid. Even though I craved for my childhood since I was cheerful and worry-free, I have accomplished a lot. I am the first in my family to have a college degree. I am grateful to my parents for giving me a better life and an opportunity to get a higher education. Although I can reminisce about my childhood, I know I will face my fears.

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